Ways To Get Kicked Out Of The Scouting Regimen
by anonymusblader123
Summary: This is a story based off of jeffster18.2's "Ways To Get Kicked Out Of The Recon Corps". I will be taking the ideas from his book and making them drabbles. If you enjoy, please go check out jeffster's version, because all credit goes to him.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone, anonymusblader 123 here, I'm writing this story because I found one by the name of "Ways To Get Kicked Out Of The Recon Corps" written by jeffster18.2. He's cool, and you can read the orginal story there. As for now, lets get started with mine! Yay! (all credit goes to Jeff btw)

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><p>Ways to get kicked out of the scouting regimen:<p>

#1 I Will Not Poke Corporal Levi

Connie was bored. Not just "I feel depressed" bored, but bored to the point where he wanted to provoke someone. But not just anyone. He looked at his corporal, all alone, cleaning a window. Connie looked around for any sharp objects that the corporal could use to kill him, and then seeing none, snuck up behind him. And then he did the unthinkable. Connie poked Levi in the side. The older man stopped in his tracks. The window he was cleaning was no longer important to him. All he had to do was kill Connie. Maybe he could take him out and drop him off the wall. No one would know. Connie's smile disappeared from his face as he watched the corporal, who had been standing still for way too long. Any smart person, who would have never poked Levi in the first place, would be running far, far away from the torture they were about to endure. But not Connie. Of course, not Connie. Instead, Connie decided to do the unthinkable again. Connie poked Levi again, and again, and he didn't realize that the man had grown more rigid. Suddenly, his arm had been wrenched behind his back, and Levi had put Connie on his knees, but making sure that his head was bent back far enough to see Levi's rage filled eyes. Levis voice cut strong and clear through the empty corridor. "What the hell do you think you're doing, you shitty little brat?" Connie's eyes widened in shock and fear. "Wait! No! Corporal I'm sorry!" was all that could be heard as Connie was dragged through the halls by a murderous Levi. Suddenly, from Hanji's lab, came a cry of bloody murder. No one pokes Levi without losing a few limbs. No one.

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><p>Ok, sorry if this sucked, but it's only the first one! I will be doing multiple "Ways to Get Kicked Out" per chapter, but this is sort of a test. See you next chaper!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everyone! anonymusblader123 here! Welcome to my newest chapter of "Ways To Get Kicked Out Of The Scouting Regimen"! All I have to say is all rights go to jeffster, and I will now be doing multiple "Ways" per chapter if they are short enough. Since this one looks pretty long in Word I will only be doing one. Chapter two: Start!

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><p>Ways To Get Kicked Out Of The Scouting Regimen: Chapter Two<p>

**I will not tell Hanji that Eren's titan form has learned to talk.**

Jean's mind swam with anger as he walked out of the mess hall. No way in hell would he ever let Jeager get away with making Mikasa swoon again. It wasn't fair. Why should someone who can turn into a traitor of humanity get the girl? No freaking way. Suddenly, a devious idea popped into his mind as he made his way back to the barracks." I'm gonna make him suffer for days!" Jean thought, seeing Hanji walking the other way, to the mess hall, he assumed. "Hey, Hanji, guess what? I learned something new about Eren!" Jean shouted, waving at Hanji. She turned around and narrowed her eyes at him, then suddenly, she was in front of him, drooling. "Tell me! What is it? Is it something awesome? Will it help humanity? What is it?" She shouted, her hands clasped in front of her chest in a pleading manner. "Eren's titan form learned how to talk." Jean lied, crossing his arms in an impressed manner. Hanji's eyes widened, and then suddenly, she let out a whoop of excitement. She ran off to the mess hall, and was then seen dragging Eren out to the training fields. Jean smirked and continued back to the barracks. Jaeger was screwed.

*With Hanji and Eren*

"Ok Eren! Transform!" Hanji shouted, pulling a notebook out of nowhere. "Wait, why? I thought we were taking a break from expiriments! Don't you have to tell Corporal Levi and Captain Erwin first?" Eren asked, confused. "DO IT!" Hanji shouted, overexcited for this unplanned experiment. Eren bit his hand, and then smoke and a huge titan rose up on the fields. "Eren! Can you say your name?" Hanji asked. Eren let out a small, confused grumble. This same routine went for days, until Hanji came to her senses, and realized that the poor guy couldn't talk. Let's just say Jean got some extra endurance training into his schedule for the week.


	3. Chapter 3

Ways to get kicked out of the scouting regimen

Part 3

I will not tell Petra that Levi loves her.

"Oi! Petra!"

Petra turned around at the call of her name, a stack of papers in her hands. A blush spread across her face as she recognized the person coming toward her. Levi. "L-Levi! What is it?" She asked as he reached her. She was trying to sound calm, but it wasn't working very well. "Is that my paperwork?" Levi asked, pointing to the stack of papers she held. Unbeknownst to the two, Ymir stood just around a corner of the hallway, studying Petra's face. 'She's blushing like crazy...' Ymir thought, an evil smile on her face. 'She's totally into him.' As soon as Levi had been handed his paperwork and had headed out of the hallway, Ymir headed out to do her dirty work. Petra stood in the hallway, her hands over her heart. She took several deep breaths to calm herself down, but almost stopped breathing when she felt a hand touch her shoulder. Ymir clamped her hand over Petra's mouth to keep her from screaming. "Calm down. It's just me." Ymir said, turning Petra to face her. "Listen, I know about your feelings for Levi." She forced a concerned and knowing look onto her face. "I just wanted to tell you… he feels the same way. He's always just been…" Ymir paused, almost about to laugh. "…He's always just been too… scared to tell you." A smile almost forced it's way onto Ymir's lips. Levi, too scared to confess to a crush. But what amused her the most was that Petra seemed to suck it up like a Hoover. The blonde's blue eyes had widened to the size of saucers, and her hands were clasped excitedly over her heart. "Really?" Petra asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Yep! Really." Ymir smiled as Petra sent her a rushed "Thank you!" and ran off to her room. This was going to be absolutely golden.

The word spread like wildfire. Levi had a crush? On Petra? Were they together? Who found out? When did it start? It was about three o'clock, a few days after Ymir had leaked 'Levi's secret", and everyone was out on the training field when it happened. One thought struck them all as they heard that bloodcurdling scream come from the building. The word had reached Levi. Who had told him? Everyone instantly fell into perfect lines and saluted as a disheveled Levi stomped out, seething with anger. Ymir couldn't help the smirk on her face as soon as she saw him. She knew she was royally screwed as soon as Levi's eyes landed on her. "Was it you? Was it you who told that goddamn lie?" He asked as he walked toward her, glaring into her soul. A small snort escaped Ymir. She didn't mean for it to happen, but seeing him look so distressed only made her day better. "You're laughing? Do you think this is funny? You won't think it's funny when you're running 500 laps around this field!" He shouted, his eyes blazing with anger. Ymir only laughed harder. She couldn't stop. She was still laughing on her way around the field.

"So it was all a lie?" Eren asked Connie. They were all at dinner, and could see Ymir outside, laughing her way around the field. "Apparently. What lap is she on now?" Connie replied, leaning his head on his hand. "Should be at least 400. So how did Petra react to that?"

"She's in her room, crying, I think."

They both went back to watching Ymir. It was actually mildly entertaining.


End file.
